rustedpride | ReiJean in Liberio (for @nohero)

Entry tags:

ReiJean in Liberio (for @nohero)

It had been weeks since they made it to Marley - to Liberio. The Survey Corps - or who of them were still left there - had settled into a house at the edge of the place, living their life while hiding in plain sight. Most of them had returned to Paradis to wait news on Eren, who had left them some time ago and prepare for the future.

Jean had volunteered to stay to keep an eye on the situation and inform Paradis of any changes. Secretly, though, he wanted to find Eren and drag his ass back home. He was a commanding officer now so he had a handful of people with him - including Sasha and Connie. Even so they usually patrolled the area alone, so if someone did accidentally gain the attention of the Marleyan army in an unpleasant manner, the others would have time to prepare to leave.

That would jeopardize Eren's plans, too. Jean wasn't sure if that was such a bad idea. Though it would also give Marley more reasons to attack Paradis. That was, so he told their number one priority was to remain hidden.

Wearing a suit and a stylish hat, Jean was on his way to buy a newspaper. They had exactly one person who could efficiantly read the Marleyan script right now - Jean was still learning - so it would fall onto that guy to actually tell them what was being said. Still, getting news was important and worth the risk of going to the market.

Even if he doubted anyone they knew would visit such a remote place as this. "Anyone they knew" being just Reiner. According to their sources, he and his mother lived in an entirely different area.

There were still soldiers, of course, so Jean was just going to get the paper and maybe some bread before heading back.

"Thank you. You can keep the rest", Jean says as he hands over the necessary coin. There was no need for small money and it seemed to please the vendor. Things were rought around here for Eldians, after all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Reiner can't recall the last time he left the internment zone like this.

He can recall the last time he left it at all, of course. He was on his way to another battle, one more in a seemingly endless march of war. His time spent in Liberio had been painfully short, one military briefing after another eating up whatever freedom he'd had. He barely even saw Gabi, let alone had time to venture outside the internment zone.

But the war is over now. (For now.) Reiner has time to himself. Time to reconnect with his mother, his cousin, the rest of his relatives. Time to reflect. Time to think.

Too much time.

The walls of the internment zone loom around him, pressing in. Reminding him of other walls, other places, other faces. Reminding him of another Reiner entirely. One who was breaking but not broken. One who still had a comrade with whom he could share everything. One who wore no armband and who didn't understand the significance of "warrior."

Suffocating. That's what his so-called "free time" is. Utterly suffocating.

The privilege of his Warrior armband affords Reiner the opportunity to leave those barbed wire-capped walls, if only for a few hours. He does so, wandering streets where Marleyans stare with a mixture of curiosity and fear. (No one throws things; no one dares attack a Titan.) He visits the fortunate few Eldians allowed to work outside the zone, purchasing whatever he can justify. They're happy to see him, but they dare not fawn where Marleyans can see. It's a nice change.

But Reiner's thought still plague him, distracting him just enough to hear a voice that can't possibly be real. Startled, he nearly collides with a tall Marleyan wearing a stylish hat. Reiner stops short, gaze dropping deferentially, looking at the Marleyan's collarbone instead of his face.

"My sincere apologies," Reiner says automatically, ready for whatever insult is thrown his way. Was the near-collision enough to warrant being spat on? Maybe; it depends on what kind of day this man is having.

But something about the man's neck is familiar. Or maybe it's his chin…? No, Reiner must be seeing things. He must be imagining those sharp features, just as he imagined he heard Jean's voice.

Reiner keeps his gaze focused on the man's shirt, refusing to indulge in curiosity and look up.

Jean was used to being viewed as a Marleyan. Honestly that was better for the situation they were in. Better and safer. At the same time it was revolting and uncomfortable. It took all of him to not interfere whenever Marleyans were being nasty to the Eldians doing business here - and that happened quite a bit. For every little mistake - sometimes even for mistakes the Marleyans caused on purpose.

All he could do was offer what business he had for them, even if he really wished he could do more.

This was not the first time an Eldian has bumped into him. His reaction always varied depending on if any of the Marleyan officers were nearby. He could afford to be kinder if no one was watching.

Today he had a different problem in calculating his reaction. Namely a blond, familiar problem. Something he had counted on not being a problem here, of all places.

Jean stares at the slightly shorter man (a weird feeling). Like him, Reiner had changed. His expression looked more haunted now and - did he lose weight? He still had plenty of muscles, but he seemed less healthy than he did in Paradis. Consider everything he lost in Shiganshina... he shouldn't be surprised.

The silence is probably a bit suspicious, but Jean is really conflicted on what to do. Curse him, like a Marleyan does? Though he could avoid that by seeing that he was from the Warrior unit based on his armband. Grunt and just turn around and leave? Would he recognize Jean's voice from a grunt alone?

The clerk who sold Jean the newspaper seems tense as well, waiting for the reaction that wasn't coming. He needed to act before he'd attract too much attention to himself.

"Watch where you're going, next time", Jean finally grunts, turning around to leave the area quickly. If Reiner did recognize him, he hopes the guy doesn't start a scene here and would rather follow him somewhere less populated.

The silence stretches on. Reiner keeps his eyes lowered, unmoving. He is not ignorant. He knows that, Marleyan or not, no civilian would attack him physically: he's too valuable a weapon, and the Titan in his blood deters reckless violence. But if this Marleyan chooses to make Reiner's day miserable, there's nothing he can do.

He waits. The Eldian working at the newspaper stand is tense. Reiner hopes this Marleyan will direct his anger where it's deserved, and not on the Eldian who had the misfortune of being nearby.

That voice speaks again. More a grumble than anything, but it's unmistakable.

It's Jean's voice.

Is Reiner just imagining things? Did he catch sight of sharp features and allow memory to overwhelm him? No, he heard it before seeing that glimpse. But it categorically cannot be Jean. So what other explanation is there?

The Marleyan takes off. Reiner remains motionless for a moment, his thoughts whirling. Mechanically, he steps over to the newspaper vendor, paying twice the price while shooting them a quick, apologetic look. The vendor gives him a grateful smile, then Reiner turns to leave.

He knows what he should do. He should walk in the opposite direction of the tall man with the fancy hat. He should go back to the internment zone and pretend this outing never happened.

His feet begin to move, carrying him forward. Following the Marleyan at a distance, eyes locked on the back of the man's neck.

He won't be stupid about it. (That's what he tells himself.) He'll only follow until he can get a look at the man's face—or until the man enters an area where even Reiner's red armband won't let him go. Just to banish the ghosts from his mind.

Jean knows he should make sure Reiner loses the sight of him. That he would continue believing that was just a figment of his imagination. They needed to avoid possible conflict and problems. Their meeting - Reiner confirming it was really Jean - would be problematic.

Yet his mind goes back to Shiganshina. The desperate plea to Hange to not kill Reiner. Something he struggled to understand for a while. It took several days, even weeks, for him to finallyt understand that he still cared way too much about him. Still did.

The decision he makes is done with his heart, not with his mind. The decision to enter an alleyway that was away from prying eyes and ears. The decision to make sure Reiner saw where he was going. It was up to the other man if he'd take the chance or leave.

At least if this lead to trouble he'd only drag himself down. Reiner wouldn't learn about anyone else being there. Not if Jean could help it.

As the man enters an alleyway, Reiner considers his options. This could be a trap—but who would set it, and who would know to use this Jean-like person as bait? There are no people from Paradis here; of that, Reiner is certain. Still, the thought of brazenly strolling into an alleyway sits ill with him.

So he pauses at the entrance to the alley, the sunlight at his back, casting a broad-shouldered shadow into the alley itself. If it's a trap, he won't walk straight into it. If it isn't… Well, then he'll still be able to get away or move forward if he chooses.

(As if "moving forward" feels like a choice anymore.)

"Excuse me, sir," Reiner calls just loud enough for the man to hear. Watching the back of that fancy hat. Waiting for the man to turn and reveal a face that can't possibly be familiar.

It felt like he waited for what would happen for hours. Each moment felt longer than the last. Jean didn't even know if he wanted Reiner to leave or stay. It would be easier if he just left, thinking Jean was just some Marleyan who happened to look and sound a bit similar. Maybe later he would realize it really had been Jean, but then it would be too late already.

Part of him didn't want it to be easy. A strange longing that wanted to just stare properly at Reiner and talk to him, even if it meant he'd get caught by him. It didn't matter since the blond already had him cornered in other ways, even if he was unaware of it. If he had to go down, at least he could indulge himself on some alone time with Reiner.

He had no intention of fighting, even if he had a combat knife tucked away in his boot. Not only would it proof useless against a regenerating titan shifter, but it would only make it seem like he had something to fight for. At least without fighting he could make it seem like he was scouting on his own.

The shadow appears and Jean feels a chill go down his spine. He doesn't move until the voice confirms it's really Reiner, even if the shadow's silhoutte was already telling. Slowly, Jean moves to take off his hat and turns around.

"I never imagined I'd hear you call me sir, Reiner."

Now that he had a proper look at Reiner, he adds. "You look like shit. Do you even eat?"

This can't be real.

That's the thought that settles in Reiner's mind as Jean—Jean!—turns to face him. Older, taller, and with a beard of his own, but unmistakably Jean. His former friend. A boy who used to think only of himself. A boy who saved Reiner's life in Shiganshina for reasons Reiner still doesn't understand.

There he stands, a young man around Bertholdt's height. And it can't be real.

"What?" Reiner responds to what seems a nonsense question. His voice is distant, golden eyes wide with shock, barely feeling present in his surroundings.

Does he even eat…? Why would his subconscious ask him that?

Because it's not his subconscious. In all his imaginings of what the others might look like now, Reiner never imagined Jean with facial hair. Equally distantly, he notes that it suits Jean.

"What are you doing here?" Reiner takes a few steps forward into the alley, his voice growing low and urgent. "How are you here?"

Jean observes the changes in Reiner. The beard suited him well. Reiner was one of those who facial hair looked good on. He still manages to look no less handsome, even with the weight loss. He would be even more dashing if he had more meat around those bones and didn't look so tired and haunted in general.

All of this was another result of the fight between them. Between Marley and Paradis, the two different Eldians. The losses Reiner had suffered. The blood stuck on Jean's hands as much as the others'.

He doesn't move even if Reiner does. Instead he continues to look at Reiner with both slight concern and seriousness, despite making a half-assed insult.

"I'm scouting ahead. Shocking, I know, someone from the Survey Corps actually doing what the name suggests."

That doesn't answer the question of how. Jean isn't about to answer how. Not yet, at least.

"Scouting ahead."

Reiner repeats it dumbly, as if that will cause it to make more sense. As if that will make the impossible possible, allowing him to wrap his mind around it. As if any of this might feel a little more real, and not like he's talking to shadows.

Then the enormity of the implication slams down on him. Reiner blanches.

"Scouting ahead? You can't be scouting here. That's—"

He's breathing too fast. Hands starting to shake, blood pounding in his ears.

"You can't be. You can't be here, Jean."

The fear in his voice isn't for himself.

Seeing Reiner panic makes Jean's heart jump a little. The normal response from someone fighting for the Marleyan army shouldn't be panic. Especially not in behalf of someone from the enemy side. But it confirms Jean's thoughts on Reiner still caring about him.

That trait was something that made Jean basically commit treason and save the blond's ass in Shiganshina. Knowing he still cared. That it wasn't all just a lie.

"A bit too late for that."

Jean remains calm. He has been well aware of the risks all this time. His whole squad and everyone who already went home were too. Their only advantage was that most Marleyans didn't know what they looked like. Really, if he hadn't run into Reiner there'd be no problems.

Bless Reiner's stupid heart for actually caring so much. Otherwise this might have turned ugly.

"You can keep pretending like you never saw me. Or you can drag me to your superiors. Your choice. I won't make the second one easy on you, though."

"Jean, you don't understand."

Reiner starts to move, driven forward by his desire to make Jean see sense. To make him go away. To make him be safe. To see if he's real—something he both hopes and fears is true.

It could be a hallucination. Couldn't it? Couldn't Reiner still just be losing his mind? That would make more sense, wouldn't it?

"You can't be here," Reiner repeats, several feet closer now. Closing in, intending to reach out and grab Jean's coat. "They'll do worse than kill you. Don't you get that? You have no idea what you're up against!"

His voice is too loud, even for this alley. He's forgetting himself, too wrapped up in desperation.

Jean still doesn't move and even lets Reiner grab his coat. Even with the thought of 'something worse than death' doesn't seem to flinch him. It's something he expects Marleyans to do to anyone from Paradis - or just any Eldian that defies them. The thought isn't pleasant, but he's long since accepted it as a cruel reality the people here live in.

That includes Reiner. Constantly on the edge. He may be an honorary Marleyan but he was still far from equal to any of them. A replaceable weapon, as long as there were 'good Eldians' who could take his place.

"Quiet down, Reiner. Even in an alley like this someone could be listening. Do it to protect yourself from getting into trouble."

Jean was already in trouble by being in Marley. Constantly needing to watch what he says or does. Always ignoring the blight of other Eldians getting bullied so he doesn't draw attention to himself. It had been hell.

He reaches to place a hand on Reiner's.

"They won't do anything to me if you forget you saw me."

Far from equal, indeed. Reiner is a Warrior, one of Marley's most prized possessions. Yet even he had to bow his head and apologize for an almost-collision with Jean, thinking Jean was Marleyan. Even he has to cast his eyes down and speak deferentially to those who spit on him.

So it's no wonder that, as soon as Jean mentions someone listening, Reiner snaps his mouth shut. Fresh fear crosses his face, mingling with the panic already there. What would happen if someone heard them? What would happen to Gabi? To his mother?

Jean's hand lays atop his own. Reiner tries (and fails) to ignore how good the contact feels.

"If I let you go, then what?" he asks, voice low. "You keep skulking around buying newspapers?"

"Maybe", Jean says. "Is that a crime, suddenly?"

Reiner already mistook him for a Marleyan earlier, so it's not like he was radiating 'I'm an eldian, notice me and kick my ass' energy. He had been fine for a good while. Not that he counted on his luck so he was constantly on alert.

"I won't cause you trouble."

"Jean," Reiner hisses, his hand tightening on Jean's collar, desperation wild in his eyes. "You have to know—"

A sound echoes from opposite the end of the alley.

Reiner jerks back like he's been scalded, feet immediately taking him several steps backward, his hands dropping to his sides. Just in time, too, as a staggering drunk appears and begins weaving his way toward them.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What is he supposed to do? What possible excuse can he have for being in an alley with someone who looks like a Marleyan?

Once Reiner puts some distance between them, Jean puts his hat back on. Then he says, loud enough for the drunk to hear. He makes sure his voice is high and mighty and like he's talking to someone inferior.

"My thanks for returning my wallet. Even if I now have to burn it since a filthy Eldian touched it."

He's heard Marleyans talk. They don't sometimes even respect the Warriors. And it was better if Jean pretended Reiner was insignificant to him.

"No scram before I call your superiors."

It's a lifeline. A way out. A perfect means of avoiding suspicion. Judging by the look on the drunk's face, they've bought it; all their drunken distaste is directed toward Reiner, not Jean.

It's a way out. But…

Reiner clenches his teeth. Fuck. Fuck, how can he let Jean get away? How can he—

"Didja hear him?" slurs the drunk. "He said scram, filth!"

It's a lifeline. And it's his only option.

Reiner ducks his head. "My sincere apologies," he says clearly, loudly enough for the drunk to hear. Then he turns and strides from the alleyway, each step echoing in his head, something cold coiling in his chest and gut.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ReiJean in Liberio (for @nohero)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject